Weekly Wringer #93: Watching games vs. Playing games... Fight!

Have you noticed that watching games has become a big part of gaming culture? Between let’s plays, live internet gaming sessions, pro-gaming leagues, and of course, good old fashioned waiting for your turn in the hot-seat,  gaming has become a spectator pastime almost as much as it’s an interactive one. So can games be as much fun to watch as they are to play? Hear what the community has to say as the Commodore talks about his own experiences today on the Weekly Wringer. And then you’ll need to re-categorize your whole DVD collection to answer next week’s question. Apologies in advance for the poor video quality as the sun was not cooperating in the first week of spring. Even if you only listen, rather than watch, it’s still the Weekly Wringer!

MP3 Version here: Weekly Wringer 93

49 Comments

  • Failedlegend The Eternal Gish Failedlegend The Eternal Gish
    Posted Apr/01/2013 at 10:54 am | Permalink

    Unfortunately my Movie collection only amounts to about 10 or so cases and it consists of Star Wars (All 3), Space Balls, Lord of the Rings (All 3), Dogma, The Grinch Bother Versions, Caddy Shack and a few Van Wilder Movies. So I can’t really participate in the official question, but I do have a few questions myself than I’d like to answer a question you kinda sorta of asked if you don’t mind…sorry if this is breaking some rules :P

    1 – Why does a bell ring whenever your name is said?
    2 – Do you know what a Gish is (thanks for the awesome welcome BTW)
    3 – Why no April Fools Prank :(

    Ok Questions out of the way now for your answer…kind of off-hand whilst you were talking about the DvD question you said something along the lines of what does it mean to have a wall, shelf or w/e full of DvDs.

    Personally I think it’s almost a status symbol…a large amount of the video game community when including themselves in a video review or w/e do so in front of their collection.

    For myself I love that people go wide-eyed when they walk into my games room as I have just over 100 SNES games, over 200 PS2 games, about 30 or so Wii games almost 50 360 games. It’s not that I purposefully do it to show off but along with my various geekdom paraphenalia (Doctor Who cookie Jar, a few plushies, my DnD Book section,etc.) it just feels good to see it there it’s a reflention of a hobby I love just as much as an art lover coats their living space in wonderful art or a hunter displays his captures proudly.

    This does bring up a thought about Digital Distribution and whilst it is a wonderful thing I think it’s sad that the feeling of slowly filling up that TV unit with more and more games as you go through life is a little lost.

    Oh and does any one else insist on sorting their games both aplabetically and by system or is that just me :P

    P.S. Sorry again for divurging from the subject

    • TheBeerNinja TheBeerNinja
      Posted Apr/01/2013 at 3:50 pm | Permalink

      A few Van Wilder movies? The first one is sort of shitty, so the sequels must standouts as terrible films in any collection. As for your questions, you should pop on to Echo Screen Live to ask the Commodore (ding ding) himself during the question portion. They stream it live on the first and third Wednesday of each month at 9:00 PM Eastern Standard Time.

      • Failedlegend The Eternal Gish Failedlegend The Eternal Gish
        Posted Apr/02/2013 at 9:31 am | Permalink

        I like my Van wilder Movies :(

        Their not masterpieces by any stretch of the meaning but their fun movies nonetheless

        • Failedlegend The Eternal Gish Failedlegend The Eternal Gish
          Posted Apr/02/2013 at 9:42 am | Permalink

          Also 1st and 3rd…I guess that’s tommorow than…guess I’ll ask there

      • TheBeerNinja TheBeerNinja
        Posted Apr/05/2013 at 7:03 pm | Permalink

        The topic is going to be filled with movies that sort of suck. I own about a dozen Van Damme movies and JCVD is probably his only good film. We all have our own tastes of sub par cinema.

        As for the Echo Screen Live, it didn’t happen this week. Stay tuned to the website or subscribe to their youtube channel, ClanOfTheGrayWolf, especially on Wednesdays for an announcement if there will be a stream.

  • Markies
    Posted Apr/01/2013 at 1:55 pm | Permalink

    What is the worst movie in my collection?

    To start off, I have some caveats before I answer this question. For one, I do not like movies all that much and I have very few DVD’s because of it. So, my collection is very small and I don’t have much selection to choose from. Also, because of that, I really don’t like ‘bad’ movies all that much. My favorite ‘bad’ movie is probably Toys starring Robin Williams though I do not own it. Though, that movie is more weird than ‘bad’, so I wouldn’t even consider it.

    However, I do have some embarrassing movies in my collection. Movies/TV Shows that aren’t masculine or nerdy for a 31 year old male nerd to have. With that in mind, I will mention two of the more embarrassing items in my DVD collection.

    I own every single season of Dawson’s Creek. Yes, that television show in the 90′s starring Katie Holmes and James Van Der Beek which was a teen soap based in a small creek town. That was my High School and later College years. I connected with the characters and got sucked into it completely. Even when I was watching it every week, I didn’t let people know I was watching it. It is pretty embarrassing, but I still watch some episodes to this day as I have a very emotional bond with the show.

    For movies, I would have to say I own Disney’s Cinderella. Like all children, I loved Disney movies. However, I didn’t like most of the ‘boy’ Disney movies such as Lion King or Aladdin. My favorite movie of all time is Beauty and the Beast, so I’m not embarrassed by that one. But, I also love some of the very early Disney movies that I used to watch all the time as a child. I remember watching Alice In Wonderland and Cinderella all the time with my younger sister. It is really embarrassing for a 31 year old male nerd to love Cinderella considering how girlish it is.

    So, instead of bad, Cinderella is the most embarrassing movie I have in my collection.

  • Young-blood Young-blood
    Posted Apr/01/2013 at 2:59 pm | Permalink

    As the creator of the “worst movie you own” thread, there was little doubt that I would post this week, and revive my long standing signature.

    That’s right, it’s scientific D6 time.

    1) 3 Ninjas – High Noon at Mega Mountain. This is a sequel to the 3 Ninja’s movie (I think it’s either the 4th or 5th movie in the series. Although I seriously wonder how it lasted that long….). I have no excuses. i was 6 and stupid, and regret ever recording this pile of crap. When Hulk Hogan is phoning it in, rather than just being bad, you have problems…

    2) Resident Evil – I don’t own the others, not anymore. I immediately disposed of my copy of the second film after receiving it, such are my feelings on the films. Having this one is bad enough, but I keep it as a reminder of the turning point, where RE stopped being anything like acceptable. This has practically nothing to do with the games, created one of the worst Mary Sue’s I’ve ever seen in Alice, and managed to have not a single likeable character, beyond the Red Queen. That’s right, the Homicidal computer is the only likable character to me. Now if only she could learn the names of the monsters in her lab (That’s a Licker, you twit.)

    3) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The beginning. A prequel to a horror movie that was originally advertised as based on a true story (And over here in the UK sometimes still is), it was never going to be great. But for ten pence in a bargain bin (Read: about a quarter), despite all my experience with schlock (And the remake of the original), I caved and bought this. And it was impressive. It managed to dissapoint me, even as the cheapest movie, game or anyother form of entertainment I’ve ever bought.

    4) Nightmare on Elm Street 5. What is this, I don’t even… What began as an interesting concept – a being who haunted your nightmares, killing you in your sleep, evolved into one of the best wisecracking sociopaths to grace the screen. However, that was the first three films. He IMMEDIATELY went into decline in the fourth film, and this, a direct sequel to said film, drives a stake through his heart. At least when I’m drunk, I can treat 6 as a comedy and just laugh. Here, being drunk just makes me cry myself to sleep.

    5) Scary Movie 3. Scary movie was kinda funny at times. Scary Movie 2 pretty much just existed. Scary movie 3 was another of the classic new breed of spoof and satire films, where random pop culture references are prefered for humour as opposed to actual spoofing and satire. I honestly do not remember who bought me these three in a boxset, but I have a suspicion they don’t like me very much…

    6) Final Fantasy: Spirits Within. While not a wholely bad movie on it’s own, there is one thing that dragged it kicking and screaming onto the shortlist of movies I first presented when starting up the aforementioned thread. The lack of any ties to the Final Fantasy series. Any of them. Indeed, this is more like Final Science Fiction than Final Fantasy. And even when you strip away the title, you’re left with a generic action film, whose only defining feature is it’s animation, which I remember being above average for the time. But the sheer disappoinment of it’s irrelevance to one of the most enduring video game series of all time secures it’s place here.

    For those of you interested to see the rest of the infernal horrors that lurk alongside these in my DVD and VHS racks, just check this thread http://clanofthegraywolf.com/forums/topic/worst-movies-you-own/

    • Red Mage Red Mage
      Posted Apr/02/2013 at 12:24 am | Permalink

      LOL I remember the fourth 3 Ninjas film. Honestly, any of the 3 Ninjas film would be a perfectly valid answer to this Wringer question as well since none of them are any good. I never owned High Noon but I was really surprised that they actually got that far making sequels considering the series wasn’t really any good even from the start and none of the original actors outside of the grandfather are in all the films despite the characters supposedly being the same people. The series was filmed weird like the third movie was shot before the 2nd but wasn’t released until later for some reason. The first and third films have all three kids being filmed first but the others had different kids playing Rocky and Tum Tum. In fact I think High Noon had completely different actors for all three kids. Why bother at that pont?

      • Red Mage Red Mage
        Posted Apr/02/2013 at 12:26 am | Permalink

        ^ point. Lack of edit function is one feature of the new layout that I don’t like.

        • Mr. K Mr. K
          Posted Apr/02/2013 at 7:45 pm | Permalink

          Agreed.

          Also, the new format is a resource hog. So much worse than the old layout.

          From a design standpoint, I love the new site, but it’s technically terrible.

          • The Male White Mage The Male White Mage
            Posted Apr/04/2013 at 9:06 pm | Permalink

            So I am not the only one that is noticing a performance hit on this site. But than again I have been experiencing loading issues on a few other sites I visit recently.

    • TheBeerNinja TheBeerNinja
      Posted Apr/05/2013 at 7:12 pm | Permalink

      Yikes, is it bad that I own other Hulk Hogan titles like Thunder In Paradise (tv movie and the full show run), Mr. Nanny, Suburban Commando, Santa With Muscles, and No Holds Barred (original and special edition). His small roles in Rocky III and Gremlins don’t count. Three Ninjas was my favorite movie for a while as a kid and I watched it at least 50 times. It was Home Alone with karate. Awesome. High Noon at Mega Mountain? Even as a joke, it is hard to sit through the whole thing.

  • TheBeerNinja TheBeerNinja
    Posted Apr/01/2013 at 3:37 pm | Permalink

    This question is fantastic and I can’t wait to read what the community will post. I have a decent sized collection of movies with well over 1500 VHS tapes (not including copies or recordings) and around 600 DVDs/Bluerays. As a kid, I would go to the Berlin Farmer’s Market on Saturday mornings with my friend and his dad. It is a medium sized flea market and is loaded with all the typical nonsense ranging from miniature dolls with pig heads to seven foot wooden American Indians to all your favorite white trash beer memorabilia. There are a few dedicated video game/movie vendors, but most people will have a few old tapes. I would buy all sorts of weird crap like Airplane Aerobatics Bloopers Volume 3 or some instructional video featuring Oprah on how to be a positive person. I am disqualifying those because a training video from Pep Boys made in 1987 doesn’t count as a film.

    So, as far as the worst goes, there is theatrical and then those lovely turds that went direct to video. As far as theatrical releases, I own the Salma Hayek/Matthew Perry romantic comedy FOOLS RUSH IN since it was one of the free 5 movies that came with my first DVD player. The Mask, The Jackal, and two other forgotten titles round out that list. Fools Rush In was popular with the ladies in college, so it isn’t really that bad. I own films people in general would remember more as being awful, but Fools Rush In is just a strange DVD to own.

    Now, we can move on to the direct to video class of my collection. There are crapfests like Robo Vampires http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_anKdQFLL6HI/TCHGlgmMe9I/AAAAAAAAARU/QnKXhLLVl4g/s1600/robo%2520vampire%2520vhs%2520front2%5B1%5D.jpg or Starship (has multiple titles) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Starship_(film).

    I am so happy when those movies are discussed on sites like the Cinema Snob since I actually have a few obscure flicks. My favorite is PRAYER OF THE ROLLER BOYS. It stars Corey Haim as a pizza delivery resistance fighter former rollerblading champion that is taking on teenage white trench coat wearing rollerblading future nazis led by his former rollerblading teammate. I discovered the movie in the late 1990′s when Corey Haim was auctioning off some of his teeth on eBay. I just saw a link from some website talking about how weird that was and Corey Haim’s name was stuck in my head when I found Prayer of the Roller Boys. I didn’t even know he was famous in the 1980′s until after I showed some of my friends the flick. Prayer of the Roller Boys is very fun to watch with friends and has some very strange dialogue such as people continually insulting others by calling them a ramrod. I was even more shocked to see a girl with a poster of the movie in her dorm room while visiting a friend during our college years. She grew up with the movie and legitimately enjoyed it. It was the same night my friend’s roommate showed me his letter collection to celebrities as their characters. He would send autographed pictures of himself to the celebrity claiming their character knows him and asked for his picture. My favorite was a hilarious letter Richard Dean Anderson sent back in character as MacGyver saying how he remembered their mission in East Berlin and thanked him for the picture. I got drunk that night, slept on an outdoor couch on frat’s porch, and lost my shoes. Strange night at Rowan University.

    • EVENING_BEAN EVENING_BEAN
      Posted Apr/02/2013 at 11:52 am | Permalink

      Good sir, I loved every single thing about this post! Other than Fools Rush In, but I can see why that might have to go on the bad list of DVDs to own. I can relate to a good portion of your post, being quite the dollar-bin connoisseur and having seen both Robo Vampire and Starship on sale at a the local flea market. Sadly, I never owned either. But they were definitely in the sections where the seller had obviously just ripped them straight to DVD from VHS, printed out a picture of the original movie poster to throw on the front of a blank DVD box, and hadn`t even bothered to write the name of the movie on the actual DVD.

      Prayer of the Roller Boys sounds amazingly bad. It is absolutely next on my finding list.

      • TheBeerNinja TheBeerNinja
        Posted Apr/05/2013 at 7:17 pm | Permalink

        Prayer of the Roller Boys actually got a DVD release and was available in stores. My friend from Rowan University actually picked it up at a Best Buy for $3.99 a few years back. Flea markets have some funny vendors. I have this movie, Spookies, where the seller put a piece of white paper in a big box liner with a pac man looking ghost drawn on it. It is also another one of those films that pops up in internet reviews for bad movies.

    • The Male White Mage The Male White Mage
      Posted Apr/04/2013 at 9:26 pm | Permalink

      Starship I have that movie and I enjoyed it, maybe not what I was excepting when I bought but I find it to be a good movie.

      Reading the Wikipedia page about the movie’s reception and comparing it to Star Wars is I have never thought of Star Wars while watching Starship. Thinking back on it I don’t see the resemblance since Starship is more slow paced.

      • TheBeerNinja TheBeerNinja
        Posted Apr/05/2013 at 7:19 pm | Permalink

        Well, the brown androids in football helmets were called storm troopers and the movie did take place on a desert planet with that wild scene on the giant truck. Other than that, I completely agree it doesn’t have a lot to do with Star Wars.

  • Zork86
    Posted Apr/01/2013 at 6:49 pm | Permalink

    Commodore, I appreciate the shout-out this week! I’m glad you enjoyed my story. Onward to my answer to your question though…

    Objectively speaking, I’d say the worst movie I own is The Room. I obtained it because I saw Doug Walker’s Nostalgia Critic review for it shortly before it was pulled down, and it was literally one of the most funny things I’ve ever seen. I went to tell my friends about the review and when they went to watch it, the video was pulled. So I decided to take a hit for the team so to speak and buy a copy of the movie so we could all watch it. It was one of the best times we’ve spent watching a movie, it was hilarious. I don’t really regret spending nine dollars on the movie even if it is awful because the experience I had was great.

    A couple of other movies I have that are in the running for this discussion were things like Point Break, Paranormal Activity, and Anger Management. All of them guilty pleasures.

    • TheBeerNinja TheBeerNinja
      Posted Apr/01/2013 at 10:58 pm | Permalink

      Point Break is a three and half star movie by critics. If that is one of the worst, then you have a stellar collection. I keep hearing how bad The Room is and the Doug Walker video was hilarious for the week it was on the site. Tommy Wiseau has the timing of a brain cancer diagnosis at a baby shower and I don’t think he understands that people typically pause at the end of sentences. A guy I work with keeps trying to get me to watch it. I lent him another great bad movie in Yor, Hunter from the Future. The film Your Highness seems to get a lot of hate, but I support it as a genuinely funny comedy. Most people that I have shown that to love it too.

  • Red Mage Red Mage
    Posted Apr/01/2013 at 11:49 pm | Permalink

    I tend to only buy movies I like but some seriously horrible quality movies have made their way in my collection though varies ways: Blockbuster stores in the area have closed down which result me making in cheap impulse purchases (For $1, why not take a chance?), some bad movies were picked up from recommendations, some were given to me as gifts and other movies piggybacked their way in my collection through box sets. There’s one really really bad movie I intentionally bought knowing it was bad, I’m saving discussing that one for last.

    I’ll pick 5 movies that infiltrated my collection by each of those separate ways.

    1) The Next Karate Kid. This stinker piggybacked its way into my collection through a Karate Kid box set that had the first 4 films (No Jayden Smith here). I like the first Karate Kid films, by no means are they masterpieces but enjoyable to pop in an watch now and then. The third movie was… not good but that movie was Citizen Kane compared to the travesty known as The Next Karate Kid. I actually haven’t watched the particular copy of the DVD in my collection and nor do I planned to. I’ve only seen the movie once on a movie channel back in the day and that was enough for my lifetime. The gist of the movie is Hillary Swank is orphaned and forced to live with relatives in a new school. Unfortunately for her, there’s this group of bizarre overzealous hall monitors that terrorize the school lead by Colonel Duggan. Who is this Colonel Duggan? Why does he have this group of evil hall monitors at his call? Is he a teacher, the principal, a janitor, heck is he even an employee of the school district? The movie is never clear on this issue. The evil hall monitors apparently want a date with Hillary Swank and terrorize her at every opportunity including bungee jumping from the rafters at the prom. Of course, she learns how to defend herself with the help of Pat Morita who for some reason lives with her relatives or works for them or something. Where’s Ralph Machio in the film? Is Daniel still in contact with Pat Morita? He’s never mentioned in the film. This movies leaves so many holes and unanswered questions, and the ending is not even remotely satisfying.

    Honorable mention in this category: Home Alone 4: Taking back the House. A shitty feel good ABC family direct to TV/DVD Home Alone sequel without Macauly Culkin playing Kevin and French Stewart of all people playing Marv. Horrendous.

    2) Son of Mask. I got this as a gift. It’s still sealed and it’s staying that way.

    3) Ice Spiders. Bought from Blockbuster for $1. The film was a Sci-Fi Channel Pictures original film and we all know how “great” those movies are :)

    4) Bringing Down the House. This one came by recommendation. Yes someone actually recommended this trash as being funny. It’s my fault. There’s the adage, don’t judge a book by its cover. In case, my initial instincts were correct, I took one look at the cover of this movie and had the immediate reaction of putting the movie back down on the store rack. Steve Martin plays a lawyer, Queen Latifa plays an escaped felon. Throw in Eugene Levy and “hilarious” hijinks ensue…

    5) Super Mario Bros the Movie. Maybe the best for last… this one I intentionally bought. Mainly because of my love for video games and partially nostalgia. I saw the film in theaters as a kid and I knew it was horrible. But I bought it to re-live that “experience” I had as a kid. The movie is absolutely terrible. I’m convinced that the film at one point was in fact an entirely different sci-fi film unrelated to the games but got retooled into the Mario Bros film after the studio acquired the movie rights to the franchise. That’s one theory but the other alternative is that the writers and producers had almost no knowledge or respect for the source material. The writers just wrote a bunch of crap and thought if they slapped the Mario Bros name on it, kids would eat it up regardless that it had nothing to do with the actual games. Whatever the reason the film had such little connection to the games, kids were wise enough to know crap when they see it and the movie was a box office bomb-omb.

    • Mr. K Mr. K
      Posted Apr/02/2013 at 7:58 pm | Permalink

      The sad thing is my dad took me and my brother to three theaters looking for Mario Bros. No one was playing it where I lived. He was getting annoyed and we almost saw Groundhog Day instead.

      I wish I had seen Groundhog Day instead.

  • silverblade18
    Posted Apr/02/2013 at 2:22 am | Permalink

    My worst movie would be Whitefang. I got it in the Dollar bin. It’s not even related to the story.

  • TreuloseTomate TreuloseTomate
    Posted Apr/02/2013 at 5:59 am | Permalink

    Let’s see if anybody can beat this.

    Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace
    On VHS.
    And when it came out I thought it was a good movie.

    Kill me!

    • The Male White Mage The Male White Mage
      Posted Apr/04/2013 at 9:43 pm | Permalink

      A lot of people hate the fourth Star Wars movie, myself I like it and still do even after people picked it apart.
      As for beating that I will try since there are unfortunately two movies after that.

  • EVENING_BEAN EVENING_BEAN
    Posted Apr/02/2013 at 10:36 am | Permalink

    Okay, I have to say that much like The Beer Ninja, I also spent many hours in flea markets picking up horrible B-movies that most of the world has forgotten about. I had a group of friends that would MST3K these movies instead of take them seriously, where we would make up our own lines as the movie went along. (For the younger/too much older audience: if you are unaware of Mystery Science Theater 3000, please please please do yourself a favor and find one to watch!) Basically, any movie that starred a Baldwin brother not named Alec, or a washed-up child actor in their teenage years, or had a post-apocalyptic setting, was game for some serious ridicule.

    Therefore, I cannot in good conscience list many of the movies I would like to. I`m not even sure if I should go as far as I might. I mean, can I just stop with The Last Starfighter, or Van Damme`s Street Fighter, or do I dare get more obscure than that? Is the pain still too fresh to mention Steel Dawn? I might have even considered throwing a Rowdy Roddy Piper film in there, and there`s a couple good (read: horrible) ones, but they almost cancel each other out.

    In the end, I think I`ll just go with the latest god-awful movie to enter my collection, which would be last year`s .
    Straight to video in 2012, it stars Jake (not Gary) Busey from gems such as Starship Troopers, and a grown-up Dominique Swain from Lolita and Face/Off. The title is pretty much self-explanatory, but just so you know, it includes various medical experiments, Antarctica, and

    If that`s not bad enough for you, I`m not sure what is.

    • EVENING_BEAN EVENING_BEAN
      Posted Apr/02/2013 at 10:50 am | Permalink

      Sorry, I`m bad with links and such. The movie is called “Nazis at the Center of the Earth”. The first series of blue is for the IMDB link, and the last line is a video showing a Hitler mecha robot cutting off a dude`s head. The moral of this story is that you should never mix html code and alcohol.

      • TheBeerNinja TheBeerNinja
        Posted Apr/05/2013 at 7:22 pm | Permalink

        Holy hell that is hilarious. What happens when you mix Java scripting and meth?

  • Kain Highwind Kain Highwind
    Posted Apr/02/2013 at 12:03 pm | Permalink

    My worst worst movie would have to be Gone in 60 Seconds, the Nicholas Cage movie, not the original. That movie is bad.

    My best worst movie is Black Belt Jones, a blacksploitation movie made in the 70s staring Jim “The Dragon” Kelly. Jim Kelly is the black guy from Enter the Dragon and he takes on the mafia! Needless to say, this movie has got it all.

    Now what do these bad movies say about us? Nothing really profound I don’t think. I saw gone in 60 seconds when I was a teenager at the movies and bought the DVD. I thought that movie was totally awesome because I was into muscle cars. Now watching the movie, it is just cringe worthy. I guess this movie proves that sometimes are tastes change. What I once thought was cool, is utter trash. The same cannot be said for Black Belt Jones. I can sit down with my brother and to this day we get a kick out of this movie. I remember the first time I saw it, my mom brought it home from the library for us on VHS (some of my greatest childhood memories). Is the movie bad? Technically yes, but to me its gold. Also, I know that my love for this movie is not based purely on nostalgia: try to go back and watch He-Man. Not everything from childhood is fondly remembered, but for me this one is. I have an emotional connection to this movie that is only shared with me and a few close friends. If one of you were to watch Black Belt Jones, you probably are not going to have an attachment to it like I would, but I still recommend watching it, it owns!

    In the long run, I guess that some of your tastes are going to change and some aren’t. That’s best I can come up with.

    Idea for the 100th episode: The best SNES game. You did the best Genesis game, but lets be real, the SNES is where its at. That episode would generate a ton of awesome stories and debate.

  • Mr. K Mr. K
    Posted Apr/02/2013 at 12:12 pm | Permalink

    I could make a joke about the JJ Abrams Star Trek movie, but I won’t.

    The worst movie I own is probably Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within.

    Funny story, though. It was the first DVD I ever bought. I had just bought my PS2 my freshman year of college and wanted a movie, along with a game (I got GTA: Vice City and FF10).

    I knew the movie was bad. I saw it opening night and hated it. My buddy Sean thought it was great. My little brother thought it was great. I still can’t sit through this movie. It is just THAT bad.

    But I got it anyway. Not sure why. I’m not even sure if I’ve watched it, and yet I’ve had it for 10 years.

    • Mr. K Mr. K
      Posted Apr/02/2013 at 12:28 pm | Permalink

      Well, that is to say, I’ve watched the movie a few times, but I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen my personal copy of it.

    • Red Mage Red Mage
      Posted Apr/02/2013 at 6:38 pm | Permalink

      Warning I do spoiler a plot twist from the film in the post. I do imagine everyone has seen it by this point. A spoiler’s a spoiler.

      The Spirits Within was simply a 2 hour CG tech display, coupled with a bad story. Even 10+ years later, the film still looks pretty nice from a technical point. I remember reading an article on the film that Square anticipated that the ‘digital actors’ were supposed to be the next big thing film. However, the digital actors feel too artificial and have that ‘off’ look to them which I think weird’ed out the general audiences. Despite being rendered realistic, there was something unnatural in the way the characters expressed themselves on screen.

      I was stupid enough to waste my money and actually go see FF:TSW in theaters. I think there was maybe 8 people (including myself [alone], couldn’t convince a friend to tag along for THAT film) in the entire theater on opening day. I hadn’t been to an opening screening that empty since TMNT 3. Yeah… I need to re-evaluate what films I decide to pay a premium to go see in theater…

      The film tried too hard to be a mix of both sci-fi and fantasy (failing miserably at both) with the twist that the phantoms are aliens AND ghosts. It was stupid and unnecessary. If I just spoiled the movie for anyone reading, congratulations I just saved you 2 hours of your life by sparing the need to ever watch that awful film.

    • Mog Mog
      Posted Apr/06/2013 at 3:11 am | Permalink

      Meh. Better than FF10.

  • I Feel Asleep I Feel Asleep
    Posted Apr/02/2013 at 7:21 pm | Permalink

    After careful consideration of my DVD and VHS libraries I have managed to narrow the field down to a few, but which to pick? Plan 9 From Outer Space, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, or possibly Reign in Darkness? Well after a little soul searching I concluded it has to be the famed director Uwe Boll’s 2007 masterwork Postal. I came to own this “movie” after my friend brought it by and said that it was so bad that several people had watched it once and promptly gave it to someone else just to be rid of it. I watched it and it was terrible but I couldn’t bring myself to pass it along to anybody else.

    Also thanks to Commodore for the warm welcome to the community, I’m glad to be a part of it.

  • Posted Apr/02/2013 at 10:03 pm | Permalink

    Well… uhh… You said “Movies” but I have several series on DVD. umm….

    I like to think that when DVDs started taking hold I was more discerning with my purchases. In fact, I got DVD versions of a lot of my favorite movies and my VHS collection is narrowed down to a very small collection of nostalgia.

    My Worst VHS is Sonic the Hedgehog the Movie (Originally a two episode failed pilot for a TV series that went to video in Japan uin 1996). I was actually kind of excited to get it when it was released in 1999. I got it from a comic book/gaming store (mostly D&D/Magic the Gathering type) which also was one of the few places around here to carry Japanese imports. I remember my first import was a plush Tails doll ^_^…. but ADV dubbed the dubious OVA, and it… well It’s bad. It makes very little sense, Tails sounds like he has a cold, Sonic’s overblown somehow Brittish voice was jarring (especially since it was the first time hearing him not voiced by Jaleel white). Oh my god that was… Still very entertaining. It falls into the “So bad it’s good” category, but only if you have the nostalgia goggles for it. BUT! At the time, it was so awesome because the internet gave me glimpses of the anime and I had a commercial for it on my Sonic Jam CD back in the day so I had no idea it was real and … SQUEE!!!!!! But that’s the VHS… I do own it on DVD (Sorta)… I have what I believe to be a horrible Chinese bootleg. The subtitles refer to “Sonic Rat”… and Eggman is “Machine King”. Huh….

    So onto my Worst uh… Movie in my DVD collection… That is actually a three way tie.

    Ralph Bashki’s Lord of the Rings (Warner Bros.) came to me via a friend. He assured me this was not the “crappy animated” version I had once rented on VHS. He was wrong. Oh, so wrong. The movie clearly ran out of budget early on, because sometimes the rotoscoping is great, sometimes the animation is fluid, and sometimes it looks like they didn’t even try. GAH.

    Muppets in Space – This one I only own because it came in a box set with Muppets take Manhattan. I thought the movie was garbage waaaay back when,

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3 – It was part of a box set.

    Worst series I own on DVD though…

    tossup again…. 6 of one half dozen of the other.

    1. Sonic Underground. A friend of mine actually LIKES this series. And I had at one time started watching the series so I thought it might be half tolerable. Note: I DID NOT PAY MUCH. I paid $7 for one of the box sets and can’t recall paying more than $10 for either of the two DVD sets that compose the series. It’s painful to watch this …. bastard child. It had such promise, the more mature art stylings of SatAM hid the more immature tone more akin to AoSTH. And Steve Urkle voices Sonic and his two made up siblings… CRY

    … you know this is two worst items that I’ve listed that are Sonic related. To balance that out, I own SatAM on DVD and that rocks. :3 – oh and he’s in Wreck-it-Ralph and I own that on Bluray.

    2. Final Fantasy Unlimited. No, I don’t own the Spirits Within, thanks for asking! This is so much more Final Fantasy than Spirits within. But it’s still so far off the mark. I think they intended the series to last 50 episodes, not 25, and the condensed version makes no sense. I picked this up on the cheap off of E-Bay, and maybe the fact I paid close to $1 per DVD in the set should have been a warning sign.

    From a design standpoint, Kaze (main protagonist) is like Squall and Vincent had a baby and he is a gorgeous emo with Barret’s gun arm… that fires soil bullets that call forth robotic looking renditions of our favorite summons. The healer chick looks quite a bit like Tifa, and two children follow them around who are akin to Palom and Porom reversed (the girl being the hot head,and boy being sensitive).

    There is indeed a Cid and he is awesome, there is a Moogle, there are proper chocobos! (as opposed to the naked fetus looking birds in Final Fantasy Legend of the Crystals – which I realize could rival Sonic’s movie in my VHS collection… auhg WHY DO YOU KEEP MAKING CRAP!?) There is even a somewhat out of placed werewolf chick. Heck, Doom train is even in it.

    But what makes everything so strange and bizarre is “Wonderland”. The … Spira… of Unlimited is Wonderland, which seems to be sectioned off into different acid laced self-contained pocket dimensions which tenuously connect to one another. There’s vague oppression, resistance to a god-like emperor who’s a child and… it all takes a dump on itself by the finale. Topping off the Poop Sunday with corn sprinkles is the fact that I didn’t care about ANYONE in the entire thing… except maybe Cid but he wasn’t a main party member. It was a random series of events wrapped in random happenstance and it was… random.

    Finally, I give honorable mentions to the So bad it’s good movies in my collection – Spaceballs, Princess Bride, Short Circuit, Tenchi the Movie 2: Daughter of Darkness, and all of the Fatal Fury movies.

    • TheBeerNinja TheBeerNinja
      Posted Apr/05/2013 at 7:44 pm | Permalink

      Oh come on with Ralph Bakshi’s Lord of the Rings. It was really creepy as a kid and Gollum was great in that version too.

      I watched the crappy Sonic show after school as a kid because I loved the games so much. It was really bizarre that they ran two shows at once both voiced by Urkel. The Saturday Morning one was pretty decent if I remember correctly, but the one that was for younger kids and centered on chili dog jokes really stunk.

      Spaceballs bad? Princess Bride not a classic? Short Circuit? Johnny Five nooooooooo! I think you mixed up so sweet they rock in your post.

      • Posted Apr/05/2013 at 9:43 pm | Permalink

        That’s why they were honorable mentions. They’re well loved :)

        And I rather hated Bakshi’s LotR actually…. cannot stand it!

        One person’s tripe, another person’s treasure.

  • DTX180
    Posted Apr/03/2013 at 1:45 am | Permalink

    The first DVD I ever bought, Dude Where’s My Car.

    ZOLTAN!!!!!!!

  • NightWolf
    Posted Apr/03/2013 at 7:38 am | Permalink

    I’m going to have to say Good Burger on this one. Got it as a kid, thought it was the funniest thing ever. Now, not so much. It is still a guilty pleasure of mine though, and I’ll never stop quoting “Welcome to Good Burger, Home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?”

  • Posted Apr/03/2013 at 3:15 pm | Permalink

    The worst movie in my collection comes from impulse buys and is a toss up between 3 movies:

    1. 5 Children and It: I bought this movie for $5 a couple of years ago. I got it because the voice of “It” was done by Eddie Izzard (one of my favorite comedians,) but this movie is bad. The acting is not too terrible (it has Kenneth Branagh, Zoë Wanamaker, and Freddie Highmore who played Charlie in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,) but the writing is bad, the directing isn’t great, and from what I understand, it doesn’t follow the book very well. I’ve only ever watched it once, and am not planing on watching it again anytime soon.

    2: Good Burger: I got it awhile ago, I loved it as a kid, and got it for nostalgic reasons. I still like it, but I can admit the movie is bad.

    3: Tommy: This one would probably be the worst in my collection if absolutely had to pick one. Tommy is the film adaption of The Who’s rock opera. The acting is bad (despite some decent actors like Ann-Margret and Jack Nicholson) A lot of the singing is bad despite some cameos by some notable musicians (Eric Clapton, Elton John, and Tina Turner.) Someone gave me the DVD with a copy of the vinyl of the record. Its a great rock opera, but a horrible movie.

  • widdowson91
    Posted Apr/03/2013 at 4:12 pm | Permalink

    My film collection isn’t massive, and I generally have good taste in films. So of all the films I own, I’d have to say the worst one is Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace. Even as a kid, seeing it in cinema in 1999, I didn’t like the film much, yet I still bought it on VHS.

  • TastyAndHairy TastyAndHairy
    Posted Apr/03/2013 at 7:03 pm | Permalink

    So I was on my way to some friends place to hang out and decided to stop at the grocery store for beer. I walk in, get my beer and walk back toward the register and notice this DVD bargain bin and thought why not take a look. That’s when I stumbled upon New York Minute with the Olsen twins, for 5 bucks. Oh that’s just too good. I went back to get a big ass bag of chips and more beer and went back to the register. I kept the biggest smile on my face while the cashier was scanning all my beer, chips and DVD, probably thinking was a creep I was. And now I own New York Minute on DVD. (Eugene Levy is a great actor.)

    (also worthy of mention; Kindergarten Cop, Short Circuit #2, Tango and Cash, and Torque)

  • Posted Apr/04/2013 at 1:26 pm | Permalink

    This is my first time posting on CotGW. I’m a huge fan of 16 bit gems, and I’ve just started watching Weekly Wringer.

    I think you possibly dropped the ball by not mentioning two of the ways that many people watch games being played. The first of course is video reviews. I know it’s not exactly the same thing as an unedited Let’s Play or the same as watching your friends play on the couch at home, but it’s still watching someone’s experience and learning about the game along the way. I look forward to Gametrailers’ and IGN’s video reviews every week, even if I have no interest in playing the games they are reviewing. The well thought-out viewpoint and well-written narration that comes from someone who knows what they are talking about with a good video review is something that can’t always be emulated by simply playing the game yourself. (So, when’s there going to be another 16 Bit Gems?)

    The second and even bigger type of watching games that you failed to mention is watching competitive games such as fighting game tournaments or League of Legends or whatever. I’m a decent fighting game tournament player who gets a lot out of watching tournaments around the globe. It’s cool to see the new techniques and combos that some of the top players can come up with then trying to integrate them into my own play. I watch so I can learn and get better, but I also watch for the human drama of rooting for the players I like against the players I don’t like. I don’t particularly like the term e-sports, but it serves its purpose here. Some people like to play sports, some people like to watch, and some people like to do both. There are tons of people who watch fighting game tournaments who don’t even play at all.

  • mrandycretin mrandycretin
    Posted Apr/04/2013 at 3:35 pm | Permalink

    I don’t even have to look to know what the worst movie in my collection is: Going Overboard, starring Adam Sandler. It’s not only the worst movie in my collection, but it’s possibly the worst movie I’ve ever seen.

    My brother purchased it when I was maybe 11 or 12 in a bundle pack of three Adam Sandler movies. (I think the other two were Billy Madison and Big Daddy.) How it found its way into my collection, I’m not sure. I’m assuming I borrowed it, and he didn’t bother to ask for it back.

    I haven’t seen the movie in over 10 years, but I can pretty much remember what it’s about. Adam Sandler is on a cruise ship, and it’s taken over by South American(?) terrorists. …and he uses that as his opportunity to prove his stand-up comedy chops? or something… I can’t remember how he saves the day.

    One part that I remember very well: At some point he breaks the 4th wall and explains to the audience that he couldn’t decide what shirt he wanted to wear for one of the final scenes, so he’s going to wear both… so every time he’s off-screen and then on again he’s suddenly wearing the alternate shirt. I’m pretty sure they’re just the same shirt, but different colors.

    It’s terrible. But in its defense, he does pretty much warn the audience it’s going to be bad at the very beginning of the movie. I believe he says, “This is a no-budget flick; Not a low-budget flick, but a NO-budget flick.” Then he simulates an earthquake by leaning and flailing his arms while they shake the camera.

  • mrandycretin mrandycretin
    Posted Apr/04/2013 at 3:38 pm | Permalink

    P.S. I have no idea what the topic for the 100th Weekly Wringer should be, but it should most definitely be filmed at Chuck E. Cheese’s. …like if you brought your laptop, set it up at a table and just filmed the whole thing sitting at Chuck E. Cheese’s (or a similar type of establishment).

    • TheBeerNinja TheBeerNinja
      Posted Apr/05/2013 at 7:49 pm | Permalink

      Do you want to get the Commodore arrested for the 100th episode? Recording video, the internet, and an adult without a kid in a Chuck E. Cheese? I’d only second that if the Commodore sat in the ball pit.

  • The Male White Mage The Male White Mage
    Posted Apr/04/2013 at 11:34 pm | Permalink

    I waited to respond this week since as soon as the question was asked I got up and brought Another You to my computer than realized there may be other bad movies I may have forgotten about, (which last night I remembered some Jackie Chan movies.)

    So onto an honorable mention first since I watched this movie twice.

    Starship Troopers 2: From the start with the text opening to the the voice over person sounding like ‘okay what are my lines so I can read them and get it over with’, this movie is low budget to the point that it reminds me of those low budget survival horror movies, which is the other reason I don’t like this movie is because that is what this movie seems to be.

    Now onto the worst in my VHS collection since I haven’t really upgraded to DVD yet since I can find more good movies on VHS than what is made today.

    (3.) Rumble in Hong Kong, Fantasy Mission Force, Master with Cracked Finger: These three movies came in a box set of four, I tried to watch them but can’t since I remember them being bad and I would need to watch them again to remember why, which I don’t want to. So the only reason I got this set of movies is to see some Jackie Chan movies before he went Hollywood.

    (2.) Star Wars Episode II – Attack of the Clones: I like Episode I and have watched that movie a few times and only watched Episode III one time through since the second time I got bored (and I find the special features more memorable than Episode III itself) but I will not be adding Episode III to my collection just to have all six movies. Anyhow I don’t remember watching Episode II so when I came upon it on VHS first off I was surprised to find it on that format since VHS was on the way out, so I bought it to go with the other four Star Wars movies I have on VHS. This movie… so boring, even the CGI action scenes boring, every half hour I was looking at my watch hoping the movie would be over soon… also what happened in this movie again?

    (1.) Another You: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Another_You This movie, THIS MOVIE is the only movie I had to stop watching that to this day the tape is at the spot I ejected it from the VCR, which is about half way through an 98 minute movie. I have seen other movies use the same concept but this movie was just painful to watch.

  • Mog Mog
    Posted Apr/06/2013 at 3:29 am | Permalink

    Not counting the religious crap my parents like to get my kids or movies that annoy me for being great and not wanting to play. The Wrestler. I rented it to see Marisa Tomei topless and forgot to return it. The story has been done a million times and better. Real or not I’m not sure, but I’m not into piercings so even the naked part I’d rather not have seen.

  • Echoes
    Posted Apr/07/2013 at 10:52 pm | Permalink

    Heya Commodore. First time poster here. I’ve been following the site for a good while, and decided to pop my head out and upgrade my status from lurker to contributor.

    I took some time to think about your question, and it’s not a completely straight-forward one to answer for me. I have a decently sized collection of DVDS (and blu-rays), but the majority of them are anime. And if you know one thing about anime discs, it’s that they’re generally expensive as hell compared to regular movie and television releases. This leads to conservative buying habits. I rarely (maybe one out of ten purchases at most) buy something I haven’t yet seen. Most of my purchases are things I want to keep; stuff I want for my collection, not stuff I buy to check out. Therefore, almost none of is bad. I think that in this age of easy, online availability, a lot of people probably extend this habit to regular, cheap purchases of media as well. With physical media on the decline, I think there’s less and less impulse/chance buying in general.

    With that out of the way, I’ll go into a few of my guiltiest possessions.

    1: Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children.

    Several people have brought up The Spirits Within, which is likely just as bad (I honestly can’t remember much of it), but which is not in my collection. This is probably a contentious choice to bring up on a gaming-focused website, but in the animated section of my collection, this is the piece I care the least for. It’s a pure style over substance movie to me, and while it looks great, the story is a dull mess. The game is one of my favorites, and it would probably be near impossible for any movie do truly do it justice in my mind, but they could have done a hell of a lot better than this. If it gets you going, awesome! But it does absolutely nothing for me.

    2: Van Helsing.

    Moving into the realm of live-action, this movie reminds me just how fast time flies by, and just how much I’ve changed over the last near-decade since it came out. (I can hardly believe it’s been 9 years since that movie was released, it’s downright frightening!) I remember thinking this movie was really, really good when I first saw it. Sure, even then I saw the cheesy humor, but I got caught up in the action and atmosphere and had a hell of a time with it. Now, I see almost nothing good about it, save for the pretty cool cover and box it came in and the musical track ” Transylvanian Horses.” (Which I still find to be a great mood-setter.)

    But the movie itself? It’s cheesy, stupid, has terrible humor and fairly run of the mill action. Hugh Jackman does look spiffy in his outfit, but this is one movie my collection would probably be better off without. However, I doubt I’ll be throwing it away anytime soon. It reminds me of a more innocent time of my life, when it was much easier for me to just sit down with a movie (or game, book, you name it) and completely lose myself, flaws be damned! Whether that’s even a good thing, I’m not entirely sure.

    3: Signs

    Signs is another movie I bought, and enjoyed, around a decade ago. It’s funny how much more analytical I’ve become about movies, and while that can bring you enjoyment of media on a whole new level, it has the exact opposite effect on movies such as Signs. While a somewhat enjoyable experience on a visceral level, this movie falls apart like a deck of cards under even mild scrutiny. It’s coincidence central. A completely contrived resolution with metaphysical implications that are beyond inane. I used to think this was a good movie, but now I see that it was just the beginning of the end for Mister Shyamalan.

    I know none of these three are anywhere near the kind of borderline offensively bad movies some of the other contributors have mentioned (if any of you ever see me in possession of an Adam Sandler movie, you have my permission to shoot to kill), I’m pretty discerning (a skill I’ve honed in my perpetual state of moneylessness) when it comes to my purchases, so this is the worst I can offer.

Add Comment Register



Post a Comment